It's Not About Marriage

Rev. Michael Piazza, Senior Pastor of Virginia-Highland Church, shares his thoughts upon hearing President Barack Obama declare his support for same-gender marriage. Written Wednesday, May 9. 

Virginia-Highland Church is around the corner from the church where Bill and I were married in 1980. Since then we have lived in three states, bought eight houses, raised two daughters, and pastored four congregations. We are about as married as two people can be. I’ve been saying for years that struggles like the one in North Carolina are not about marriage. We got married 32 years ago in Georgia. What we didn’t get were the same civil rights as other taxpayers. In America, that is called discrimination.

Still, I must admit that I was deeply moved when, at 3:00 this afternoon, the news reported that President Barack Obama had come to the place where he personally supports the right of same-gender couples to marry. I wanted to correct him and say that we already could get married; what we need is for him to fight the discrimination we suffer. I couldn’t say that, though, for the lump in my throat. On the day after the final former Confederate state enshrined discrimination in their constitution, it felt strangely healing to have a president in your corner for a change.

I was talking to a young African-American man in the office shortly after the announcement and reminded him that, in my lifetime, it had been illegal for him to marry a woman of another race in places like Georgia, Texas, North Carolina, and, specifically, Virginia. In fact, it wasn’t until 1967 that the United States Supreme Court struck down those laws. There is no doubt that the same thing will happen with laws like the one N.C. passed yesterday. When religious arguments are put aside, there is no justification for states treating one set of taxpayers one way and treating another differently. That is the very definition of discrimination.

We will not win this fight by putting our rights to a popular vote. No minority ever won their rights by letting the majority vote. If we continue to let the religious and political right frame this argument we will continue to lose. THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE RIGHT TO MARRY. It is about discrimination. The United Church of Christ, of which Virginia-Highland Church is a member congregation, and others will marry same-gender couples. Now is the time for the United States to stop discriminating against its law-abiding, tax-paying citizens.

Tomorrow, the fight continues. Today, though, let’s toast President Obama who, unlike some of our other politicians, has evolved toward justice and equality.

Virginia-Highland Church, located at 743 Virginia Avenue NE, at the corner of Virginia Avenue and Ponce Place, is an inclusive and progressive Christian community of faith that welcomes ALL people, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, marital status, disability, age, education, economic circumstances, religious background, or spiritual experience. No matter who you are, or where you are on life's journey, you are welcome here.